Honor Your Bandwidth
Dear Friends,
"There is a wisdom to resentment."
This statement unexpectedly tumbled out of my mouth during a recent Women's Circle. As I sat with it afterward, I realized—I believe it to be true.
What causes you to feel resentful? Is it offering too much of your energy, time, and resources in ways that are not life-giving? Is it feeling like you are "trapped?" Is it "yes"-ing yourself into a crammed schedule? What is it for you?
Resentment is like a flashing yellow light that cautions us to slow down and reexamine what is going on in our lives to cause our feeling this emotion. When resentment shows up, we often think we can not take time to reflect, but pausing may be the wisest thing to do.
Once we have the space to honestly examine what is underneath our discontent, we can look to where we are at choice to change the situation - something we may have more of than we believe.
Sometimes we have created systems--at work or at home or in our volunteer pursuits, where we have made ourselves the "go to" person for too much. If that is the case, how might we invite more support? Trust others to do some of what we have taken on? What is the secondary benefit we gain from being so "reliable?" What might we let go of?
If you’re in a season of caregiving—whether for young children or someone in deep need—you may be experiencing real limitations. The demands are significant. Still, it may help to ask: Who can support me? What’s one small thing I can do to feed my soul, so I can show up with more joy and less strain?
Finally, resentment may invite us to reframe and/or reprioritize. A reframe might look like asking ourselves, "Is there something for which I am grateful--even in this?" Reprioritizing how we spend our time, energy, and resources could mean letting go of things that do not serve our well-being in this chapter. Often when we add new responsibilities in our lives, it is important to let some old ones go. Honoring our capacity or "bandwidth" is integral to living well.
What has resentment taught you over the years? I would love to learn and hear from you.
Gratefully,
Director
