Tame Your Gremlins

Who do you speak with the most in your life? Perhaps it is yourself. Most of us have regular, ongoing, internal chatter as we interpret our lives in realtime. Among the chorus of voices is an inner critic who can host a big “dance party” of shame in our heads. Rick Carson, the author of the impactful book Taming Your Gremlin A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way, calls this voice “The Gremlin.”

I’m terrible with names. I have hurt and insulted people because of this shortcoming. When I am trying to recall a name I host epic “shame dance parties.” Recently, I was inspired by someone who shares my shortcoming. He told me that he has noticed that when he can’t remember someone’s name, if he starts criticizing himself, he gets more anxious and more forgetful. “Now, I try to take a breath and give myself a break. And if that doesn’t work, I just tell people, I’m sorry, I’m not good with names, can you please remind me of yours.” My friend is also trying creative new ways to remember names. 

Simple. Gentle. Honest.

In addition to being an author, Rick Carson is a counselor and coach. He has said, “I have spent most of my time with (my clients) simply helping them improve their ability to enjoy themselves.” Wow! What if we could enjoy ourselves? What a worthy pursuit!

It is good for us to be self-reflective about ways to improve. And there are innumerable ways we can be hard on ourselves, making it difficult to enjoy ourselves. This week, I am going to focus on being more aware of my internal chatter and mindful of when the “Gremlin” is hosting a mad, mean, dance party. Naming it will help to disempower it, and then I can create a new ways of responding and new stories that promote self enjoyment  as opposed to self-shaming. 

Grace and Peace,
Mary Bea